What Do You Want from Me?

Conversation With My Dad

journal entry

What do you want from me?????  Expectation, guilt shame.......

Dad the thoughts come so very fast, what do YOU have to say to me  - to them?

I simply desire to "BE": with you, in you - abiding - working in harmony.

Lift this......."No you lift it - but not to carry; to lie it down - then pick up my yoke and be bound to that!"

But aren't I - I mean yoked to you....always in all ways..................?

Do I take it off and not notice, because your yoke is so light????? Is it the struggle to pick it up all the lifting which is breaking my back???

Please help me make understanding of all this - I cannot comprehend the things of you...without you!

I believe in you, I trust in your love for me.  I know it is true that you will never leave me or forsake me.

What do you want from me?!?!

What do you expect?

My efforts appear useless

My heart feels great weight

burdened by guilt that I cannot comprehend

The shame of lost efforts

Wrap their arms to approach my ear

Each word creeps in close

Blocking much needed light.....

Give an inch.....

Take a mile.....

Give and take......

The war divides.

Keep you peace!

Guard your heart!

Use your mind,

     to see the fight.

Hold your words

    till the spirit speaks.

Fold your hands

   to stay on your feet.

Give an inch....

Take a mile....

Give and take

The war divides.

Flesh and blood

   not meant to fight.

the battle ensued

    is supernatural ground.

To rightly divide

the spirit prevails

faith veils your eyes

to not walk by sight

Your face I follow

Your truth is my lead

My spirit is willing

Through trust we succeed.

After I wrote this I heard him say:

You have not yet chosen to pick their yoke up.  This is simply the warning before the storm begins - please stay here in the garden.....Let the spirit win!!

After I talked to God about all this I looked beside me on the table and my bible was opened to Psalms 19 after reading it I just had to giggle.  Today think on all this - write down anything that you might even slightly think you have picked up which is not yours to be hitched to.  Ask our Dad about it, He promised to not hide anything from us.  But we have to be willing to hear what he has to say.  Sometimes that is the hard part!! He usually talks to us about ourselves asking us to leave others up to Him!

Psalms 19 helped me out this morning as well - so I post it here for you too. (GWT)

For the choir director; a psalm by David

The heavens declare the glory of God

and the sky displays what his hands have made

One day tells a story to the next

One night shares knowledge with the next

without talking

without words

without their voices being heard

(Yet) their sound has gone out into the entire world

their message to the ends of the earth

He has set up a tent in the heavens for the sun

which comes out of its chambers like a bridegroom

like a champion, it is eager to run its course

It rises from one end of the heavens

It circles around to the other

Nothing is hidden from its heat

The teachings of the Lord are perfect

They renew the soul

The testimony of the Lord is dependable

It makes gullible people wise

The instructions of the Lord are correct

They make the heart rejoice

The command of the Lord is radiant

It makes the eyes shine

The fear of the Lord is pure

It endures forever

The decisions of the Lord are true

They are completely fair

They are more desirable than gold, even the finest gold

They are sweeter than honey, even the drippings from a honeycomb

As your servant I am warned by them

There is a great reward in following them

Who can notice every mistake

Forgive my hidden faults

Keep me from sinning

Do not let anyone fain control over me

Then I will be blameless

and I will be free from any great offense

May the words from my mouth and the thoughts from my heart be acceptable to you, O Lord, my rock and my defender.

all rights reserved by Candace Huffmaster -  except on scripture which GWT reserves right to

We Choose Our Yokes

I know what I am about to type is rather basic, and we discussed it Friday in group.  But I want us to think about it again, so humor me =D.

We cannot understand what we do not know.  We think we know much, but in fact we know little.  Then we close those files and mark them complete - when in reality we only have fragments of the complete picture. 

Now to break this down to a specific topic "God's love for us independently"

I believe the things I am going to list to be true - I ask that you think about them, then write about them a bit for the next few days or so.  We will be discussing them Friday.

• God sees you as lovely - He created you with the best of all abilities, nothing lacking and nothing missing.
• God is so in love with you - test Him see if you can out give Him
• What we see as shattered pieces, God sees as a complete picture (again nothing lacking / nothing missing)
• God does not need you to be complete, He just loves you with this love you can't understand if you have never experiences such an lavish, insane love (yes, perfectly defined - he keeps doing the same thing over and over and over again till he gets a different result)
• He has never lost you - You just could see Him watching over you.
• God knows how scary things can get and He does not "hold any bad thoughts or feelings against you". God has no thoughts or feelings that are not holy, lovely and pure - which is what he "holds against you / wraps around you.
• Look for God: search everywhere as if you are looking for your most precious item that is near and dear to you.  He will show himself all the way.  He will expose himself - remember He desires to be with you.
• Don't be scared - Remember the point before, I said God exposes himself, not you.  True love covers up the others nakedness, remember we are clothes in Christ's glory.

I know this is a lot - so I might not post again tomorrow.  I am leaving you with a poem to read and read again.  By the way - I always invite you to make improvements to any prose or collaborate on new ones. 

I pray that we all love with out thought of harm.  Trust that He will never lead us into temptation and always deliver us from the evil ones and believe that we do not know best how to love so that we request his guidance in all ways.

Always in Love - With Christ
Kisses,
Candace
_____________________________________________________

Give, Love, Heal

The days are alive as they pass way
Dancing between sunrise and sunsets embrace
Kept in motion by the gentle winds of our breath
Timed within the movements of our hearts tune
Many years continually pass before us
We observe the trail, of the tales of old, as they flow
Our lives engulfed by the momentum of their wake
As we hear the whisper “in full time your tale will be told”

Beyond the commotion, within the stillness a voice is speaking:

I am God; I create all things with care
You are My love and My delight with purpose I cast all things
I know all the pain that you’ve suffered
I see each tear that stains your sweet face
My spirit grieves as my love suffers
I am the Lord crying out for bondage to break
I died bound to a cross under the weight of burdens
But I emerged from beneath deaths defeat
What comes from earth covers the living spirit
I chose to contend for a brief time
In order to speak truth you could follow
So the spirit could be seen by your eyes
Where Christ is there is always liberty
You choose each moment in time
My spirit is empowered to embrace you
So sit here in stillness to find rest
Trust in the things you hearing
Request to see truth through your faith
Relax, you are home ….. Peace I offer
Believe all your boundaries are secured,
Nothing shall in anyway harm you
Vengeance is mine - but I am just
By my name our body is protected
As winds of truth blow, brokenness is set free
In dependence we unite supporting each other
Independent the fragments have no weight and are swept away
Remain in love with me; do not bind again to bondage
You are adored not created to adorn the pride of men

In gentle, kind ways you are loving
Cherished gifts of my heart to touch and heal them
Only a true man will receive such a present
And only a true man will protect what I hold dear.



By Candace Huffmaster
2007©All Rights Reserved

In His Presence



 



by Candace Huffmaster © 2011 Kaleidoscope Butterfly, Inc. 



Jump on over to http://www.seecreativityspeaks.blogspot.com/ for your "to do" list for today on Deeply. 

Visit http://www.kbtrue.blogspot.com/ to see what True Beauty looks like.

The blend of all these site are to help us all understand what True Beauty thinks, acts and looks like isn't that a beautiful thing? Won't you join us!

Kisses,

Candace



Are You Going To Leave Me Too? Where Would You Go?

(Read John 6 if you are unfamiliar with the title statement)

2 Corinthians 6:1-18 (NAS) And working together with Him, we also urge you not to receive the grace of God in vain for He says “At the acceptable time I listened to you, and on the day of salvation I helped you:” behold, now is the acceptable time, behold now is “The Day of Salvation” giving no cause for offense in anything, in order that the ministry be not discredited, but in everything commending ourselves as servants of God in much endurance, in afflictions, in hardships, in distresses, in beatings, in imprisonments, in tumults, in hunger, in purity, in knowledge, in patience, in kindness, in the Holy Spirit, in genuine love, in the word of truth in the power of God’ by the weapons of righteousness for the right hand and the left, by glory and dishonor, by evil report and good report; regarded as deceivers and yet true; as unknown yet well-known, as dying yet behold, we live; as punished yet not put to death, as sorrowful yet always rejoicing, as poor yet making many rich, as having nothing yet possessing all things. Our mouth has spoken freely to you, O Corinthians, our heart is open wide. You are not restrained by us, but you are restrained in your own affections. Now in a like exchange – I speak to you as children- open wide to us also. Do not be bound together with unbelievers; for what partnership have righteousness and lawlessness, or what fellowship has light with darkness? Or what harmony has Christ with Belial, or what has a believer in common with an unbeliever? Or what agreement has the temple of God with idols? For we are the temple of the living God; just as God said, “I will dwell in them and walk among them; and I will be their God, and they shall be My people. Therefore, come out from their midst and be separate, says the Lord. And do not touch what is unclean; and I will welcome you. And I will be a father to you and you shall be sons and daughters to Me,” says the Almighty

Sometimes, through my process of growing into the maturity of Christ, God’s understanding and liberating the Spirit of God whom I grieve when I control, I would miss the larger lesson before me.

I, in my lack of understanding, would focus on how others actions affected me. ,I in my arrogance, would align myself with the suffering of Christ and hold a private pity party - just Him and me. The pitiful thing is, He would always attend and sit there with me.  He would call me out either; simply comfort me.

I would talk to Him about how others would just leave, seeing something else that they wanted to obtain - maybe they would get bored. I would pray for their success but somewhere inside I would hold back a bit. I would serve with a little less joy and a little more weight. I would talk to Him about how I understood in a small way what He meant when He implored others to stay alert and pray for Him so that He would not have to endure alone. I did not ever think that it was only He and I though, nor did I compare myself in any way to what he must have endured – I think you get the picture.

But through Christ’s kindness, His gentleness and the holy spirit I finally was able to see that the times when I would think “God do you want me to quit and go back to what I was doing? Is that what you are trying to tell me?”, He was actually increasing my perspective, my understanding, my compassion and my discernment by taking me to and through another level of intimacy.

There comes a point in a relationship when once separate minds are now in perfect harmony (not that I am there yet); when you are saying the same thing at the same time, with the same inflection. When I was saying “Are you going to leave me too”, He was saying to me “Are you going to leave me too?

Leaving is not an option. We are forever His. We are His bride. He will never leave us nor forsake us and it is eternal because there is no death. He left His father beginning the process of being forever join with His bride. For a time we could not cleave to Him; but now we can.

So next time I feel like inviting Him to a “Pitiful Party” I think I will just sit and pray for Him, for His bride to be everything He anticipates, and for His bride to run with arms wide open to embrace Him.

In Christ with Love,

Candace

Twinkle..Twinkle

 

Twinkle, twinkle little star

How I wonder what you are

Up above the world so high

Like a diamond in the sky………

We wish and wish and sometime even “prayerfully wish” until we realize there is a higher force with the capacity to propel us. And that is hope. Hope is not realized when we can touch what we see. Hopes job is over when we have obtained. True Vision is where the pieces collectively come together and build within our heart and mind. Creating with clarity all details in order for us to be aware when we are in the presence of what we hoped for. Hope is the fuel or catalyst of perseverance.

Think about it……

Evidence of things hoped for…….How will they know if they have not been told

Hebrews 11:1 Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.

Galatian 4:9 But now that you have come to know God, or rather to be known by God, how is it that you turn back again to the weak and worthless elemental things, to which you desire to be enslaved all over again.

I love what Erwin McManus wrote in this chapter “Coming our of Nowhere” in Stand Against the Wind.

Romans 12:12 NCV Be joyful because you have hope, Be patient when trouble comes and pray at all times.

 

 

The quest for enlightenment leads us to the wisdom of God. Wisdom is forged through the crucible of Perseverance.

If Rome wasn’t build in a day, neither is character formed in one moment. There is a process in our becoming all that God created us to be. This is the human side of divine change. Transformation is both the miracle of God and the stewardship of man. Godliness is a result of both divine activity and human action. God promises to do what we cannot do for ourselves and He commands us to do that which He will not do for us. There is both miracle and responsibility. God entrusts us with His resources, and then He hold us accountable for what we do with them. It isn’t very difficult to see that we are not all the same. Some people seem to have gotten an overload when God was handing out talents; others seem less gifted. But be assured there is divine talent in you. It is both waiting to be unleashed and depending on your being a faithful steward with what you’ve been entrusted. While we may be unable to perceive it, the great things of God come out of the small acts of faithfulness. When He finds we can be trusted with small things, we then are given responsibility over bigger things. How we serve exposes how we would lead.

When we are Faithful, we are Trustworthy. The person who is unfaithful cannot be trusted. These tow characteristics are inseparable.

If a person does not achieve his or her God given potential, although we might consider it a tragedy we would never think of it as wickedness. But perhaps we should. After all, the servant in the parable of the talents was declared wicked when what he could have done was measured against what he did. Matthew 25:14-30

 

So in conclusion for today -

Think of perseverance as the key to the door that is locked before you….holding you back from what is on the other side.

Will you endure the struggle with the lock or will you just say, I can’t open it?

Just any shape key does not open the lock. Perseverance shapes our character….Our character is the shape of our future.

Just as the key has to be the correct shape – we also have to be shaped to fit our future (deep huh!)

If we do not have the correct shape, the lock does not open. Our frame work is the skeleton key. God is the iron worker, we are the iron he is shaping. Each door we come before he has to take time and effort to bend us to perfectly fit.

The same key does not open all doors. Each key, as each door lock, is special….just for us. If all keys and locks were the same, anyone could open our doors and receive the things in our store house.

Are we willing to be molded, bent, heated till He sees Him image reflected upon us? He tells us the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak. “The implications of faithfulness cannot be overestimated and must not be underestimated.”

My prayer for us all today is that we will allow Him to painstakingly shape us so that we fit into what must be unlocked so all may come to the saving knowledge of Christ Jesus our Lord….and be shaped to unlock…and so on…and so forth.

Twinkle Twinkle little star

Is there a key to what you are

Up above our world so high

Is your space, your time to fly

Twinkle twinkle little start

How he loves you as you are

My stanza to you all!

Kisses,

Candace

I am weak but He is strong....

Jesus loves me this I know, for the bible tells me so.............


A while back I heard God say:
You are not able to use my knowledge and insight until you have gained it and you will not gain my wisdom and discernment until you have experienced it. When you have over come or come through a trial by my strength and your humility, you then have the power indwelt, etched and engraved – ownership within your new form. To be honest, I do not understand the things He tells me for some time. I have to talk to Him about it as I walk through my days....He explains it piece by little piece. Things like this devotion, help me to get more understanding and apply it to my life.

In the bible there is a verse that speaks of the spirit being able but the flesh being weak. I pray that our spirit prospers even as our soul prospers: that we will gain His knowledge, insight, wisdom and discernment through our daily experiences as we count on His strength in all situations. In our humility he is glorified ....as He says where we are weak He is able to show His strength.
My love to you all,
Candace

The Eternal Goal

By Myself I have sworn, says the Lord, because you have done this thing . . . I will bless you . . . —Genesis 22:16-17

Abraham, at this point, has reached where he is in touch with the very nature of God. He now understands the reality of God.

My goal is God Himself . . .
At any cost, dear Lord, by any road.

"At any cost . . . by any road" means submitting to God’s way of bringing us to the goal.

There is no possibility of questioning God when He speaks, if He speaks to His own nature in me. Prompt obedience is the only result. When Jesus says, "Come," I simply come; when He says, "Let go," I let go; when He says, "Trust God in this matter," I trust. This work of obedience is the evidence that the nature of God is in me.
God’s revelation of Himself to me is influenced by my character, not by God’s character.
’Tis because I am ordinary,Thy ways so often look ordinary to me.

It is through the discipline of obedience that I get to the place where Abraham was and I see who God is. God will never be real to me until I come face to face with Him in Jesus Christ. Then I will know and can boldly proclaim, "In all the world, my God, there is none but Thee, there is none but Thee."

The promises of God are of no value to us until, through obedience, we come to understand the nature of God. We may read some things in the Bible every day for a year and they may mean nothing to us. Then, because we have been obedient to God in some small detail, we suddenly see what God means and His nature is instantly opened up to us. "All the promises of God in Him are Yes, and in Him Amen . . ." (2 Corinthians 1:20). Our "Yes" must be born of obedience; when by obedience we ratify a promise of God by saying, "Amen," or, "So be it." That promise becomes ours. by Oswald Chambers