What Do You Want from Me?

Conversation With My Dad

journal entry

What do you want from me?????  Expectation, guilt shame.......

Dad the thoughts come so very fast, what do YOU have to say to me  - to them?

I simply desire to "BE": with you, in you - abiding - working in harmony.

Lift this......."No you lift it - but not to carry; to lie it down - then pick up my yoke and be bound to that!"

But aren't I - I mean yoked to you....always in all ways..................?

Do I take it off and not notice, because your yoke is so light????? Is it the struggle to pick it up all the lifting which is breaking my back???

Please help me make understanding of all this - I cannot comprehend the things of you...without you!

I believe in you, I trust in your love for me.  I know it is true that you will never leave me or forsake me.

What do you want from me?!?!

What do you expect?

My efforts appear useless

My heart feels great weight

burdened by guilt that I cannot comprehend

The shame of lost efforts

Wrap their arms to approach my ear

Each word creeps in close

Blocking much needed light.....

Give an inch.....

Take a mile.....

Give and take......

The war divides.

Keep you peace!

Guard your heart!

Use your mind,

     to see the fight.

Hold your words

    till the spirit speaks.

Fold your hands

   to stay on your feet.

Give an inch....

Take a mile....

Give and take

The war divides.

Flesh and blood

   not meant to fight.

the battle ensued

    is supernatural ground.

To rightly divide

the spirit prevails

faith veils your eyes

to not walk by sight

Your face I follow

Your truth is my lead

My spirit is willing

Through trust we succeed.

After I wrote this I heard him say:

You have not yet chosen to pick their yoke up.  This is simply the warning before the storm begins - please stay here in the garden.....Let the spirit win!!

After I talked to God about all this I looked beside me on the table and my bible was opened to Psalms 19 after reading it I just had to giggle.  Today think on all this - write down anything that you might even slightly think you have picked up which is not yours to be hitched to.  Ask our Dad about it, He promised to not hide anything from us.  But we have to be willing to hear what he has to say.  Sometimes that is the hard part!! He usually talks to us about ourselves asking us to leave others up to Him!

Psalms 19 helped me out this morning as well - so I post it here for you too. (GWT)

For the choir director; a psalm by David

The heavens declare the glory of God

and the sky displays what his hands have made

One day tells a story to the next

One night shares knowledge with the next

without talking

without words

without their voices being heard

(Yet) their sound has gone out into the entire world

their message to the ends of the earth

He has set up a tent in the heavens for the sun

which comes out of its chambers like a bridegroom

like a champion, it is eager to run its course

It rises from one end of the heavens

It circles around to the other

Nothing is hidden from its heat

The teachings of the Lord are perfect

They renew the soul

The testimony of the Lord is dependable

It makes gullible people wise

The instructions of the Lord are correct

They make the heart rejoice

The command of the Lord is radiant

It makes the eyes shine

The fear of the Lord is pure

It endures forever

The decisions of the Lord are true

They are completely fair

They are more desirable than gold, even the finest gold

They are sweeter than honey, even the drippings from a honeycomb

As your servant I am warned by them

There is a great reward in following them

Who can notice every mistake

Forgive my hidden faults

Keep me from sinning

Do not let anyone fain control over me

Then I will be blameless

and I will be free from any great offense

May the words from my mouth and the thoughts from my heart be acceptable to you, O Lord, my rock and my defender.

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