May 2, 2011

What Do You Want from Me?

Conversation With My Dad
journal entry


What do you want from me?????  Expectation, guilt shame.......
Dad the thoughts come so very fast, what do YOU have to say to me  - to them?

I simply desire to "BE": with you, in you - abiding - working in harmony.
Lift this......."No you lift it - but not to carry; to lie it down - then pick up my yoke and be bound to that!"
But aren't I - I mean yoked to you....always in all ways..................?
Do I take it off and not notice, because your yoke is so light????? Is it the struggle to pick it up all the lifting which is breaking my back???

Please help me make understanding of all this - I cannot comprehend the things of you...without you!
I believe in you, I trust in your love for me.  I know it is true that you will never leave me or forsake me.

What do you want from me?!?!
What do you expect?
My efforts appear useless
My heart feels great weight
burdened by guilt that I cannot comprehend
The shame of lost efforts
Wrap their arms to approach my ear
Each word creeps in close
Blocking much needed light.....

Give an inch.....
Take a mile.....
Give and take......
The war divides.

Keep you peace!
Guard your heart!
Use your mind,
     to see the fight.

Hold your words
    till the spirit speaks.
Fold your hands
   to stay on your feet.

Give an inch....
Take a mile....
Give and take
The war divides.

Flesh and blood
   not meant to fight.
the battle ensued
    is supernatural ground.

To rightly divide
the spirit prevails
faith veils your eyes
to not walk by sight

Your face I follow
Your truth is my lead
My spirit is willing
Through trust we succeed.

After I wrote this I heard him say:
You have not yet chosen to pick their yoke up.  This is simply the warning before the storm begins - please stay here in the garden.....Let the spirit win!!

After I talked to God about all this I looked beside me on the table and my bible was opened to Psalms 19 after reading it I just had to giggle.  Today think on all this - write down anything that you might even slightly think you have picked up which is not yours to be hitched to.  Ask our Dad about it, He promised to not hide anything from us.  But we have to be willing to hear what he has to say.  Sometimes that is the hard part!! He usually talks to us about ourselves asking us to leave others up to Him!

Psalms 19 helped me out this morning as well - so I post it here for you too. (GWT)

For the choir director; a psalm by David
The heavens declare the glory of God
and the sky displays what his hands have made
One day tells a story to the next
One night shares knowledge with the next
without talking
without words
without their voices being heard
(Yet) their sound has gone out into the entire world
their message to the ends of the earth
He has set up a tent in the heavens for the sun
which comes out of its chambers like a bridegroom
like a champion, it is eager to run its course
It rises from one end of the heavens
It circles around to the other
Nothing is hidden from its heat
The teachings of the Lord are perfect
They renew the soul
The testimony of the Lord is dependable
It makes gullible people wise
The instructions of the Lord are correct
They make the heart rejoice
The command of the Lord is radiant
It makes the eyes shine
The fear of the Lord is pure
It endures forever
The decisions of the Lord are true
They are completely fair
They are more desirable than gold, even the finest gold
They are sweeter than honey, even the drippings from a honeycomb
As your servant I am warned by them
There is a great reward in following them

Who can notice every mistake
Forgive my hidden faults
Keep me from sinning
Do not let anyone fain control over me
Then I will be blameless
and I will be free from any great offense
May the words from my mouth and the thoughts from my heart be acceptable to you, O Lord, my rock and my defender.


all rights reserved by Candace Huffmaster -  except on scripture which GWT reserves right to








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