February 20, 2013

Nice Suit!



Throw out the mocker, and fighting goes too. Quarrels and insults will disappear. ~Proverbs 22:10
Whoever corrects a mocker invites insult; whoever rebukes a wicked man incurs abuse.  Do not rebuke a mocker or he will hate you; rebuke a wise man and he will love you.  Instruct a wise man and he will be wiser still; teach a righteous man and he will add to his learning. ~ Proverbs 9:7-9
We have been studying what God lovingly teaches us to use for discerning faithful and worthy characteristics of safe relationships.  He does not desire for us to be harmed but he will not take us out of harm’s way – we must choose if we will allow others to harm us or if we will get out of His way.

In the past we spoke about running and how there is a time and a place for all things under the sun.  We must look around to see if we are running away from being exposed or if we are running to avoid a major collision.  This means we must take a journey back to the intersections which caused the dis-ease.

This is the space where many sojourners go walk-about in our groups, but this is not a bad thing…..as far as the health of our journey groups.  You see, we need safety in order to not be harmed emotionally.  If we do not have this, there is no balance; which is what creates the dis-ease.  Unfortunately, it is also a culprit for many of the pervasive diseases we deal with as well.  

If you are willing to stay, even if you do not join a regular group, please consider sitting with the information we are discussing and just think about it.  If you are feeling as if you will be experiencing an interrogation room, where you will be locked away with an authoritative accuser; then you are precisely who needs to sit right down and cuff yourself to the table ;)

You might want to plead your 5th amendment rights as you read, but that’s your right!  I hope that whatever you do, you ask for your legal counsel, then have faith in Him to do what He has proven to be the BEST at.  He will not allow you to be trapped or condemned – He will be like OJ’s attorney, “If it doesn’t fit….you must acquit!”

So just take a deep breath….an honest look and search for the peace which will bring you rest.  Otherwise, you will just be arrested, again and again. 

The next few weeks will bring an end to all our journeys and ensure we have a proven and faithful body to support us as we venture together starting in April.

Things to think about:
·         Safe people welcome questions

·         Unsafe people do not want to be exposed

·         Safe people get hurt and sometimes harmed by relating  / communicating with unsafe folks


Although all relationships are hurtful, because we are human, unsafe people hurl hurt to keep others farther away.  They only allow people in who help them keep cover.  If you do not have any safe people in place, we will address that at a later date.
 
·         When someone confronts you with a situation they are uncomfortable with, are you able to just listen to them – for a reasonable amount of time?

·         Is your first response, “I’m sorry that I have hurt you, or I can see how you would feel this way?”

·         Is your first response, “I do this because……” “Do you remember when………” or “Do you realize……”?

·  Are you able to compassionately ask how or what you do which causes them pain?

·         Are you open, even vulnerable to asking for their help in correcting this dynamic in order to be a safe space for them to find friendship?

·         Are you most concerned about being right and them acknowledging your point of view?

·         Are you most concerned about being respectful, compassionate, authentic and expressing concern for the hurt that they are enduring, sharing and attempting to resolve?

If we do not value the opportunities where we see an imperfect image, we will never see that our character does not suit the image in which we were created to be seen and relate.  If we are not suited to be a safe person, well that simply doesn't fit us well at all.

Check your reflection today, see if you suit fits.  But do not just allow anyone to help you refit it; you could end up with something worse!

I pray that you go about in Love, seeking peace as you extend peace today.
Extending peace and love first to you my friends,

Kisses,
Candace

Kaleidoscope Butterfly, Inc®
©Candace Huffmaster 2013, All Copy Rights Reserved