June 18, 2021

Discipline and Button Pushers

It had been my opinion that some people have been gifted to write, and the rest of us are gifted to read and enjoy their gifts. There are also those who have ideas with desire to write and just keep honing their skills.   However, as gifted as some may be, without discipline, writing usually will not not get done. It is my opinion that I fall into the later category and I have allowed the discipline for developing this skill to be replaced by other priorities. Thank you for your grace as I attempt to get going again.

As I pondered these thoughts regarding the written word, thoughts expanded into the words we speak.  We do not have to be gifted speakers to talk; however, to do it well takes effort. To speaking the truth in love might be the hardest discipline for most of us.

An individual could be the wisest, most knowledgeable person around. However, if they are attempting to connect with others they must develop some relational skills to accompany knowledge.  The bible calls this discipline “speaking the truth in love”.  This means we must exercise discernment, empathy, humility, kindness and be peaceable in the character of the Lord God who IS Love.

Of course this can only apply to the children of God, because apart from God, though He loves us, His love is not within us.  Also, without God we do not have His peace, nor the help of His Spirit within us to depend upon.  It is no wonder there are such relational problems and devastation going on around us.  And this is what led me to thinking about how we speak / relate to each other and it being the hardest discipline – in my opinion.

Think about the difference between worldly self-control (controlling ourselves and others to get our desired outcome) and the fruit of the Spirit self-control (controlling ourselves, being obedient to His Ways, through dependency on God and faith in His will for us all). If we join in the work the Father is doing within us, through His Spirit, instead of grieving the Spirit, everyone around us is touched by His power.  No doubt, this is the reason we are constantly being challenged in this area; as well as being the challenger at times. How often are we tempted to do the fleshly / emotional thing, throwing love and, dare I say, even total truth out the window.

We know that God does not spin out of control, nor is He caught off guard.  Instead He uses what is “intended” for evil, for good. God uses opportunities such as these to test us, grow us and if we persevere, as James says, we will be more mature. The end result will be the growth of the fruit of the Spirit to the Glory of God – these thoughts fills me with great joy; how about you?

All this being said, it is not easy to pause when being emotionally challenged; becoming passive is not the goal either. We should aspire to be active in prayer – asking God to work in the silence, the space between and within us and others.  When we do speak, that it is beneficial (truth without drama), and it is His character which carries the truth into the presence of others.  

Beyond these moments we must keep our peace and leave matters between others and their m/Master. Trust that God is so much larger and present than the temporary afflictions we face.  While some problems are truly enormous that we are going through, most of the problems pressing our buttons are the small things; the things we choose not to navigate with an attitude of forgiveness – even if we cannot be in a fruitful relationship with the person (we will dive into this on another day). God is not allowing others to be in control of His will; we should not either.  We can be a child of God with the character of God, no matter who is pushing our buttons.

So today, it is my prayer for us all, that when pressed - we will allow their pressure to be a release button and begin to live liberated in Christ Jesus, our Lord – To Him be all the Glory now and forevermore.

Kisses,

Candace

Scriptures to meditate on – please share any others and your thoughts, experiences etc.

·         Book of James - specific verses of note: 1: 2-4, 12- 14,  4:8,  6: 18-21

·         1 John  - 3:7, 4:8

·         1 Corinthians – 9:23-27, chapter 13

·         2 Corinthians – 3:17,18, chapter 4

 

 

December 11, 2019

What Do You Think?

"Therefore everyone who hears these words of Mine and acts on them, may be compared to a wise man who built his house on the rock.  And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and slammed against that house; and yet it did not fall, for it had been founded on the rock.  Everyone who hears these words of Mind an does not act on them, will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand. The rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and slammed against that house; and it fell  - and great was its fall."  Matthew 7: 24-27


Well Hello Everyone!

I hope this finds each of you better than you've ever been.

It has been an extremely long time since I have had the time and space to compile a study topic.
Appreciating that the holidays are busy, with less time to dig into large segments of study; these things you can ponder as you go about, hopefully - at least the goal.
                                                         __________________________

If we think about it, each of us believe many things. However, all things we describe as what we believe can be on vastly different plains. For example, I believe if I collect my thoughts and type them in this post, hit save then publish, everyone will have access to the information. Is this a reasonable belief? And Why?

Most things we deem "reasonable" is because we  have experienced it.  But then there are the things we believe which are Not based on our personal experiences. For instance, the large majority of us have not traveled to the moon, yet most of us believe it is not only possible but has happened.  Many of us have not been to all the other countries, but we believe they are there and accessible.  I cannot fly a plane but I have been carried by them, very successfully, many times over and I always believe they will get off the ground and land somewhere else.

What we believe is a building process comprising a multitude of influences: parents, environment, community, information and application to name a few.  We have been given sensory organs to assist in sight, hearing, touch, taste and a brain to collect and process everything along this fantastic journey called living.  So what makes some people believe in the things others determine unbelievable? Can our beliefs change? How does this affect us at our core?

Think of all the things we believe as everything needed for constructing our home, from blue prints to the actual building materials, comforts and aesthetic of our lives. Usually only our core beliefs are used for the blue prints and for actual weight bearing structures. We hire experts for jobs we are not skilled to complete and trust they have done what was asked. These  outsourced jobs are beliefs we take on due to a person of influence.  Most of us have preferences regarding décor inside or landscaping that is seasonal outside. These items are preferences which are constantly changing as our tastes change, or we get more information.  They elements represent our individuality, opinion, and desires or ambitions. Together these things comprise where we dwell, our home, our family, who we are and all our life emanates from it.

Matthew 7 is speaking of the same subject: solid belief systems.  It is also speaking of our influence and responsibilities toward others.  None of us are able to undo the harmful effects of others upon our lives,  but we can adjust and minimize impact moving forward. However, this will not happen and our lives will not change unless we take the time to think about things and do some discovery.

The question then is how do we see what we do not know to question? The answer is: inspect your structure in hopes of uncovering something before it's a problem.  Most people realize when something begins to deteriorate - and they look for answers. But why wait? Christ tell us to "Ask and it shall be given to you; seek, and you shall find; knock, and it shall be opened to you, for everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it shall be opened."   I wonder if that why He mentioned this before He spoke of the foundation issues? (Anyway, probably irrelevant.)

All I am asking you to think about is what do you believe - really believe. Any why? What benefit is it to you, your family, your community and ( if you believe in God ) His Kingdom. Then ask who is ultimately paying the price for what you're constructing.

Whatever you believe I pray it leads you to Christ - if not now, someday...
With Love - Kisses,
C





© 2019 by Candace Huffmaster, All Copy Rights Reserved
 Kaleidoscope Butterfly, Inc ®







April 17, 2018

A Real Conundrum






Therefore let him who thinks he stands take heed that he does not fall.
1 Cor. 10-12 





You would think that much of my time is spent helping others see their positioning / standing within the things going on in their lives. However, the largest part of my days are actually spent making sure I am positioned and standing......not by my own strength - God help me if I ever feel so secure that I omit this!

Obviously we all have problems, real or perceived. And I am sure it comes as no surprise that it would be unusual for someone to come to me saying "I have a problem; and I am the problem. Can you help me?". Another commonality I find is that most problems are not yet real. What I mean is, the problem that IS real is the panic building in their mind and anxiety in their heart because they perceive they are not going to get something they desire, or be able to prevent an undesired thing from happening. Helping people comprehend that what we think or feel can be distorting reality can be a real conundrum!

Fortunately or unfortunately, I am no different from those I support, when it comes to finding areas where our human nature can override spiritual truths we believe. These distortions in perception are what cause our conflicts - both with others and internally. For instance when a woman comes to me very hurt and conflicted. She tells me she is devastated, heart broken, because her spouse isn't "loving" toward her and she doesn't understand because all her efforts are to make sure they have a strong loving relationship.. But, when I ask her how she is responding to him and she tells me she is stone walling him: hasn't cook dinner and has hardly spoken to him since yesterday. It is obvious there is spiritual, personal and relational perspectives needing reconciliation before we discuss anything else..

Have you ever noticed that we can be truly correct in our truth, but fully incorrect in our standing, or how we carry it out. The conundrum is: how can I be trying to obtain love, working hard toward making opportunities for love and then ending up without "feeling" loved? The problem isn't Love, nor is our biggest problem "how our spouse is acting". The problem is we want something for our self; it is about me, not about them. Do you see that? When we do not get what we want, we will utilize whatever ammunition is at our fingertips to motivate the other person to move toward what we want.. Sadly, God's will is a easy reach to manipulate people. We will discuss this another time.

So how would the conversation go with her, you ask? Usually, I would ask her if she has wondered if her spouse felt loved by her; and not generically, but by her actions. We would discuss how wanting to "be loved" is certainly not the same thing as "desiring to be in a loving relationship". Ending with reading the letter of James, focusing on chapter 4 would be a wonderful place to open up conversations of what she sees happening in herself, her husband, their relationship with God and each other. .

The bottom line here is this: When we say we are not being loved, are we consistently being loving? Do we, will we, take a pause to think about Love before we act / react? I do not know too many people who think they won the Spousal Lottery 24/7 , but please do not live as though they did with you or me. We all are standing on shaky ground, even on a good day. But I praise God that He is able to make us stand when we depend on Him to deal with our little self made conundrums.

Remember, it is all in how you look at things; get yourself out of the way and you can see a much larger picture!

I pray to make it through the end of this day without tripping over myself and I pray the same for you. And I ask that we can see from His perspective instead of our small view.


- In Christ,

Kisses,
C

For more on this topic:
What Do You See
Your Doing It Wrong
How Long Can This Go On


© 2018 by Candace Huffmaster
 Kaleidoscope Butterfly, Inc ®

December 1, 2017

Where I Am


Therefore encourage one another and build up one another, just as you also are doing. ~1 Thess 5:11


There have been so many of you asking me where I am and why I have stopped writing or dropped communication with you, that I felt I needed to write everyone at once.

The largest reason is due to the change in how I meet with and support individuals.  The writing always alighted with topics we were studying; it gave everyone thoughts to digest and form conversation for the next weeks group.

While the organization was on sabbatical several years ago, I experienced health issues which demanded a change in how I personally supported people in crisis. Strangely enough, while attending a BMI Leadership Coaching Workshop about the same time, Richard Blackaby spoke about the seasons in our lives.  (If you have not read The Seasons of God I highly recommend you add it to your library!)  Even thought I miss being surrounded by you all: from the women we support to the organizations I advise, train or counseled the changes have been an amazing adventure.

It is not that I have stopped supporting people in crisis, teaching, organizing, studying, breaking down scripture and or writing. The change is how my time is used -  more methodically and able to go deeper one-on-one with each person.  But this means I have little time for editing and logically composing segment.

Many of the individuals I meet with have asked me to write down the things we discuss; because they would like to think more about it throughout the week and never seem to thoroughly write their thoughts down.  "I will try to make that happen, soon."  I don't know if others, of you who write, finds it difficult to get back in the saddle or not, but I do.  I'm grateful for all of you who have been prodding me.  I ask those of you who desire daily, weekly or maybe bi-weekly Spiritual encouragement to pray for the Lord to prepare me, teach me and guide me that He may be glorified.

I desire to get back in the saddle.........it kindles a unity, for me, with each of you and Him, as I think about His truth, grace and love for us all.

Dare I end with "Giddy UP!"

Kisses,
C

     © 2017 by Candace Huffmaster / Kaleidoscope Butterfly, Inc ®

April 14, 2017

Without Regret


John 19:38  After this, Joseph of Arimathea, being a disciple of Jesus, but secretly, for fear of the Jews, asked Pilate that he might take away the body of Jesus; and Pilate gave him permission. So he came and took the body of Jesus. 


Recently I was asked to participate with a Stations of the Cross Gallery, and wanted to share what I learned from the experience. Painting while meditating on scripture always takes me on an adventure, it has a way of pulling their world and mine together on one plain for brief moments.

As I began reading through the scene John created, I imagined the lay of the land, the community, and the crosses in the background. The image began building, and the crosses kept slipping farther away. It was, as if the Holy Spirit was leading me to minimize the cross, with all my worldly thoughts of pain, regret, humiliation and think about Spiritual things: the purpose, the people, the life. I could not see Joseph and Nicodemus clearly until I imagined them paused before heading back into the city gate. Everything around them appeared to continue on uninterrupted. I imagined their emotions were of grief, loss and confusion, which made me so very grateful that we have the written word of God. I thought about all He procured for me to live in the freedom of His love without regret.

For a moment, take pause: Picture yourself as a landscape, would you be a dark cave of regret or as the garden holding His body for a time…..each day, the fruit of the spirit blooming a little more and releasing a sweet fragrance glorifying our Lord and Savior.

It is a Great Friday to be alive my friend….a Good Friday to be saved….My prayers are with each of you, in Jesus’ blessed name.

Kisses,

Candace

                                                           © 2017 by Candace Huffmaster / Kaleidoscope Butterfly, Inc ®

March 3, 2017

Thank you for Asking!



The plans of the heart belong to man, but the answer of the tongue is from the Lord.  All the ways of a man are clean in his own sight, but the Lord weighs the motives. ~ Prov 16:1,2




As I have been studying and reviewing information for various things, I couldn't help but notice a common theme among them all:  The value of questions.  When I was younger, I may not have been the most curious child in a group, but I was certainly in the top 3.  Question after question would layer my mind; hence I was probably the most talkative child around.  In time, however, my questions brought with them a sense of self consciousness. More often than not, I began to view questions as more of a liability.  After all people believe we are smarter when we don't know something and remain silent, or so we are told. This disastrous mindset is pretty much on the same plain as, "children should be seen and not heard". .....But I digress....

Paul David Tripp is the author of a book I have been re-reading.  He suggests we are all: influence-ers, interpreters and worshipers. As with all our studies on view points and words, the combination of these three words brought back many thoughts:


  • How do individuals who care enough to marry each other and build a family together end up wanting, more than anything, to not have to be around each other? 
  • How can jobs, hobbies and friendly relationships become something elevated over spouses and children?
  • How can we think we know what is best for others when we cannot go many days, our self, without making a poor decision? 
  • Why do we feel the generic things we have to say are more grand than something the next person might desire to speak about?
Considering all these dynamics, it seems that self concern/preservation, and pride may be what we desire to call it; however, due to how common place those critiques of character are today, let's break it down further. Since our topic is "questions" lets look at it from this angle.


The people I speak with on a regular basis, are coming to see me due to crisis in their life.  This crisis takes many forms.  The commonality begins after a series of conversations where in I get to ask questions regarding something/s that have changed in their life.  Surprisingly many people have not simply asked the person/s they are in a relationship with questions about the things.  People, for what ever reason, take facts and add onto them their version of reasoning.  If it goes on long enough they build story lines supporting their theories. Sometimes they even add characters. It is heart breaking to hear the attempts, of their family and friends, to convince them that what they are thinking is not real.  But that is how deceptive thoughts poison our brains first and then bleed out, infecting the good things in our lives.

Part of the reason we do not ask questions, is due to lies we have been told.  After so much time of being lied to, people begin to believe that the words of others are not as valid as their own reasoning.  The saddest consequences stemming from this is the victim of these situations begins to distrust everyone and depend on their interpretations of life around them.  Life is very distorted from this view point.  And when you won't listen to anyone there is very little help for correcting what you perceive. It is like watching someone ride a bike, thinking they are on a garden path, when in actuality they are heading toward the edge of a steep cliff.  And as you warn them, they wave at first, but as you continue, they begin yelling back at you to be quiet, because you are ruining their enjoyment! reminds me of Proverb 12:15 : The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man is he who listens to wise counsel.


Counsel does not usually begin with answers and people, being short sighted, desire answers. God gives wisdom but rarely treats it like a google search. He takes us on a journey, so that we may grow and become wise, patient people who can love investing in the lives of others. Relationships with good integrity come from investments made. Anyone can have a relationships which feed their emotional and egotistical tanks. We simply fish around till we find someone responsive then cut bait and move to a more happening spot when it fizzles. Please understand the relationship that is giving you what you want is almost never the relationship that is good for you.

If we are not trusting God, how can we find the truth? If we cannot believe the truth of the one who created us, how will we ever find anything which makes lasting sense? Where you are encountering consistent patterns of problems with a person, start listening more and talking less.  When you begin talking ask relation-ally invested questions, rather than questions leading toward what you want from the relationship.  

When we can ask questions meant to find out how to care for someone, rather than figuring out if they care about us - then maybe people will not avoid communicating with us, but actually thank us for asking!

Have a curiously good day my friends!
Kisses,
Candace

© 2017 by Candace Huffmaster / Kaleidoscope Butterfly, Inc ®

January 18, 2017

The Power of Words by Paul Tripp

A friend forwarded me his devotion for today. We all can benefit from understanding this more.  It is also relevant to the things we have been thinking about recently. I hope it gives you as much to consider as it did me!




The Power of Words

My two oldest sons are two years apart. They’re adults now, but when they were younger, I remember an argument they had. I can’t specifically remember what the argument was about, something silly and insignificant. It was one of many, like all brothers have.
What I do remember was how harsh their tone was, how their words were laden with accusation, and how their choice of vocabulary was personally damaging. Their sentences were designed to tear down, not find a solution to the conflict.
I had never taught my boys how to speak like this. Had they heard their father speak poorly to their mother? To them? Yes, regrettably. But I never sat them down and said, “Boys, if you want to win an argument and get your way, this is how to do it.”
In this mundane moment, God reminded me: the natural tendency of the human heart is to selfishly employ words to get what we want.
Listening to the same argument, God also opened my ears to hear how powerful words can be. Since I often don’t listen to what I say, or understand how my words are received, God was giving life and breath to the famous passage on the power of words in James 3.
"The tongue is a fire, a world of unrighteousness ... It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison ... With it we curse people who are made in the likeness of God."
More than 25 years removed, that argument still gets me reflecting today: how often do I naturally employ powerful words to selfishly get what I want? How often do I threaten, manipulate, accuse, guilt, or slander those in my life with what I say?
If you’re anything like me, I know you do the same. Be honest, but don’t be discouraged. God never reveals our hearts to discourage us. Convicting us of sin is one of the most profound ways he demonstrates his love for us.
Additionally, God never sets a lofty standard for our speech and demand that we reach it on our own, sitting back and waiting for us to fail. Rather, he gives us everything we need in life for godly speech (2 Peter 1:3).
How does he do that? He sent the Word – Jesus Christ – to become flesh and blood (John 1:14) and help us with our words. We have power and glorious riches at our disposal through Christ and the indwelling presence of the Holy Spirit.
This week, listen to yourself talk. Take note of how natural it is for you to employ words for selfish gain. Be aware to the powerful vocabulary at your disposal. Grieve and confess how you threaten, manipulate, accuse, guilt, or slander others with words.
But take hope. The Word came to release us from the power of sin. We can experience a new direction with our words!
God bless
Paul Tripp


Reflection Questions

  1. What was the last argument you engaged in? Rewind the audio of that conversation.
  2. Did you attempt to use words to repair conflict, or were your words chosen to "win" at the expense of another?
  3. How can you use powerful words this week to build up and restore?
  4. What practical steps can you take to "dwell" with the Word? How might that help with your words?

www.PaulTripp.com
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December 23, 2016

How Long Can This Go On?





Pursue peace with all men, and the sanctification without which no one will see the Lord.  See to it that no one comes short of the grace of God; that no root of bitterness springing up causes trouble, and by it many be defiled;  that there be no immoral or godless person like Esau, who sold his own birthright for a single meal. Hebrews 12: 14-16



Having been over a month since I have had a moment to continue where I left off, I had to revisit the details of where we were.   If you want to review it click this link.

The first question in the random list was: How long can this go on? Length of time under pressure is indeed one of the first culprits which weakens us enough to take pause, when we are heading toward a crisis.  It isn't the first thing which happens; usually we have made attempts to under gird and manage our discomfort, but we get frustrated and worn out. Reminds me of the Happy Train analogy we use: Our Happy Train is scooting on down the track and at first there is a bump, then a metal sparking sound and THEN a disastrous flailing of bodies and loose objects slinging around the box car?

Most of us can do well with a bump or two.  We are even able to adapt bumps into our everyday life without too much disarray.  However, what happens when we are a bit frazzled from "life" and the ride is bumpy for hours? Add to this: everyone around you being pesky, only to have  the screeching metal sound shrill the airwaves in a grand crescendo!  How would your comfort level be in this moment?

Habakkuk wrote, that it was not of the Lord that we weary ourselves in vain. What does that mean to you? Do you think God desires for us to weary ourselves to the point we are disconnected and tolerating life? What are we pursuing? What are YOU pursuing? Most of us ARE pursing peace....but is it more rightly having what we want, which makes us happy and we deceive ourselves that we are experiencing peace?  Even if we are achieving this goal at the moment and no one seems to be grinding the gears of our Happy Train experience, we must realize we've seriously bypassed one of Gods major train stop.

God allows things to go on so that we understand what is going on.  The reason I went to Hebrews to address this is because in chapter 11, we were given the great cloud of witnesses legacy.   Esau, we are told, sold his birthright to get what he desired to happen.  He may have had peace in the moment, worldly peace, but he was not pursing peace with others; it was only about what he wanted.  Do you think Jacob was on a Happy Train Ride? What about their parents? Were they happy, did they have peace?

The Christmas Hymn, link above, speaks of peace and goodwill toward men.  This is the peace Hebrews 12 was speaking of, not the selfish peace of getting what we want.  Sanctification is the only means of experiencing a peaceful journey through life - How long can it go on till you make it? Till
Christ comes again!

Fortunately, as we begin seeing others and caring about the weight of our own wants upon them, God gives us all the mercy and grace to BE different all along the way.  This year give something beyond a perfect present, give notice to how you have treated others to get where you are and what you wanted.  Give a sincere apology for wrecking their train at times and ask how you might be able to help them find their way back.  If possible.......

When we begin living out the long lives we are blessed with in this way, we might feel less days of "How long can this go on?" and more day filled with " How much longer do I get to experience life?"

For God so loved the world, shouldn't we join in?

Merry Christmas to all and to all a marvelous night,

Kisses,
Candace

© 2016 by Candace Huffmaster / Kaleidoscope Butterfly, Inc ®